Valentine 2012

One of my short is invited to be the opening movie of a director known for its black lesbian theme.

So this Valentine, I will be in Berlin, in a theater full of cool and sophisticated women interested in each other.

My first big festival.

My first gay movie. The one I will never publish in Indonesia.

God, I do not know if I have to be grateful or fearful. This could be a beginning of the honest and passionate life I have been longing to. My first step to the real movie world, with the partner I can share the fear and the passion with.

Or will it be the beginning of another painful drama?

Or both.

I went through their website, looking at the beautiful and sophisticated women making movies, bravely discussing their view. Some are just like guys. Some have too many earrings. Some has too less hair. Some are just plain gorgeous. Some are beautiful and edgy. Some are way too edgy.

"You will have so much fun at the Teddy party."

Teddy party. The biggest after party for LGBT filmmakers. Who do you wanna get laid with?

I don't wanna get laid. I wanna have a loving and faithful relationship. Di dekatnya aku lebih tenang. Bersamanya jalan lebih terang. That kind of relationship.

"Yeah. Wait until you have an orgasm." he said, moaning.

A naive church girl coming straight from the third world country, what will happen to you?

For better or worse... Berlin, here I am.

So help me, God.