No Lie. No Defense.

“My policy is: no lie, no defense.”

He is an alien. He is a legal alien. He is an Englishman in New York.

I love his character. Queer, English, and living in the closest thing to heaven on earth: New York.

“Why do you think you are qualified to be a resident?” tanya mas-mas IRS.

“I believe I can fill in a unique function that no others can do simply just being me. On that basis, I think I am qualified.”

No one else can be him.

He is an alien. He is a legal alien. He is an Englishman in New York.

Selesai film, gue menulis NO LIE NO DEFENSE besar-besar di layar iMac gue dan berharap bisa hidup tanpa dusta dan defense for the rest of my hopefully lovely life.

It was two days ago. Two hardest days of my life.

Berapa berat lo?

88.

Easy. No use of lie anyway. Anyone can tell there is no way I am 70.

Berapa gaji lo?

146 ribu per sks. Walaupun gue bilang ke Lucky 200, biar dia mau ngajar juga.

That was tougher. Moga-moga lucky gak baca ini sebelum dia tanda tangan kontrak.

Lo pernah ML?

That was easy, but embarasssing. But I can still get away with ‘punya prinsip’ instead of gak laku-laku.

Hey ! That was defense!!!

Ok! Ok! It’s not that I don’t have the chance. But not with those I really want.

Puas lo?

Are you gay?

I would love to be one. But no one wants me. (At least not the one I want.)

That was tough, huh?

It’s a post Ellen era. I get to advertise myself.

Lo suka laskar Pelangi?

Damn. Ini baru susah. Sesama pencari nafkah di bidang seni sebaiknya gak saling menjelekkan. It would not be right for me to say bad things about it. I think we were supposed to help each other.

But I don’t think Riri Riza need my help. So...

No. Filmnya aja gue males nonton, apalagi bayar 200 ribu for the play.

But I love the book.

And Lea Simanjuntak.

Not because she is Simanjuntak. Not because of her voice (which I think sound better live).

But because of her neck. She can make a great cast for my version of Laskar ‘Pelangi’.

Would you be interested in her?

No.

Bukan karena doi cewe. Bukan karena dia dah mau kawin. Tapi karena dia Simanjuntak.

Haram booo. Bisa dihukum adat.

What is the biggest achievement in your life?

Love, babe. Love.

Hahaha.

I know love is not a victory march, but I think I don’t mind parading you around the city. Holding your hand and telling them you were mine. Or I’m yours. Either way.

‘You’? You mean ‘her’?

Shut up.

Do you think you are a good teacher?

Managing a class is worse than managing a production. But the steady income was nice. And I get to learn After Effect.

Tapi kayanya gue gak akan jadi guru yang baik sampai gue bikin film ke dua dulu. So I am pushing hard on this second one.

Do you think you can make a good film?

I don’t know how to make a good film. An honest one is good enough for me.

I don’t think you are that talented.

Finally we have something in common=D

I think I have some talent, but not that wow. Good thing we don’t need talent to do a movie.

What do we need then?

Love.

No Lie?

No defense =D