Black Swan

I just want to be perfect.

I am a girl next door with a Mom who loves me. I love my mom, but I don’t wanna end up like her, a 28 years old ballerina who gets pregnant as an excuse to never see the top.

Me? I want to be perfect.

I am the swan queen.

If he only casted for the white swan, the role will be mine. I know my move. I know my step. I know how to look innocent and fragile. I am the white swan.

But he’s not.

He is also looking for my black twin. I don’t know how to be imprecise. I don’t know how to dance effortlessly. All my life, I have been trying to be nothing but perfect.

Perfection is not only about control. It’s about letting go. Loose control.

How am I supposed to loose control? I need to be perfect.

Like her.

I would do anything to be like her. Anything.

Including killing this fragile good girl inside me.

I just want to be perfect.

And she is perfect.

The Black Swan is perfect.

“No, It’s way too cartoon” kata salah satu binan Singapura, calon sutradara teater yang tak juga bikin drama despite all of his wit and inteliigence.

That’s why it is so good. It’s so cartoon.

Pasti nih anak dulunya gak pernah baca Lovely Mari Chan deh.

Walau apa kata mereka, kau tetap angsa hitamku.

Kak Nora mengirimkan sebuah artikel dari salah satu penari balet New York yang pernah diajak konsultasi oleh Darren Aronofsky sebelum Black Swan lahir.

Dia tersinggung karena Black Swan membuat balerina terlihat seperti orang gila yang harus lesbian dan nge-drugs dulu baru bisa nari.

“Ah ini kan Oscar campaign week. Paling dibayar ama Weinstein Brothers biar King’s Speech menang.”

“I think she just defended her profession,” kata Kak Nora.

And I am defending my black swan.

Apapun kata mereka, I love you my Black Swan.