Apalah Artinya Sebuah Nama

“I tried to look at the terrible things of my life and make them funny. So it became a comedy that no one else would be able to tell, “ kata The King Of Comedy versi Scorcese.

I tried it too. Tell the terrible things in my life and make them funny. But I wasn’t funny enough.

Maybe I wasn’t honest enough.

Maybe I have no terrible things happened to me before.

Hahaha. That’s funny.

No terrible things happened to you before? That’s the funniest thing you said so far.

Let’s start with your name. I guess if you are being honest we will have plenty to laugh about.

Halo. Gue Sammaria. Yes, like the city. Like the capital of the ten tribes. Like those that the Yehuda hates, but Jesus love dearly.

Whatever. I said if you are being HONEST we will have plenty to laugh about.

Apalah artinya sebuah nama.

Ok. Gue SAM Maria. Sari Astrid Mananda Maria.

Hahaha. Then how come you became Sammaria?

S A M Maria. Isn’t it obvious?

Iya. Tapi kenapa gak.... Sari A M ? Sari AMMaria?

Apalah artinya sebuah nama.

Sariam sounds too pembantu. Dan Sari Ammaria sounds too pemeran pembantu.

Apalah artinya sebuah nama.

Gara-gara para opung gue ngasih nama seenaknya tanpa konsolidasi setelah kelebihan cucu. Sodara emak gue 11. Bokap 9. Cucunya berapa? Too many. Bersyukurlah kau gak dinamai Ari Wibowo.

Untung gue kreatif, jadinya nama gue eksotis.

Apalah artinya sebuah nama.

Penting buat gue, sebagaimana mahkluk koleris lainnya. I think they would like me more if I know their names.

They did. It works to get me friends during the West Coast summer tour 2001. I suddenly became popular. I don’t need to be tall or beautiful. I only need to get to know their names first.

Tapi sekarang mereka tinggal menjadi daftar nama-nama. No personal connection. Mereka menjadi mahkluk-mahkluk indah yang menghiasi albumku di Amerika. Nothing more.

What are the names that will stick with me to the end?

Not your name. I don’t like your name. But I do like you, babe. I’ll keep ‘babe’ as long as I could.

So, babe... will you keep my name till the end?

Of course not. You have other name already written in your heart. May not be in your heart, but certainly in your marriage cerificate.

Tak guna meratapi cinta. Lebih baik make a name for myself so I could have some good fuck.

Apalah artinya sebuah nama.

Tentunya berarti ketika lo berkesempatan menghabiskan malam indah bersama lelaki berdada bidang hasil jeratan QnA ... dan lo malah salah nyebut.

Apalah bedanya Brendan ama Brandon.

Goodbye, Sammara!