Judul aslinya Belkibolang. Belok Kiri Boleh Langsung. Kumpulan film pendek yang disutradarai 9 sutradara lelaki dan diproduseri seorang wanita.
Berhubung hanya diputer di Blitz Bandung dan di Bandung gak ada signage Belkibolang, adanya cuma Belok Kiri Jalan Terus, gue semena-mena mengganti judulnya jadi Belkijarus biar terasa lebih lokal.
Kenapa gak diputer di Jakarta?
Kata Blitz karena terlanjur diputar gratis di Komunitas Salihara.
So???
Tampaknya Blitz tidak percaya kalau penonton film ini bisa melebihi kapasitas penonton Salihara yang hanya dua ratus sekian adanya. Padahal film ini seharusnya dinanti-nanti banyak penikmat film karena telah mewakili Indonesia ke Rotterdam, Jeonju, dll.
Mau tak mau film ini diputar di Blitz Bandung saja.
Karena dibuat dengan semangat gotong royong dan dana seadanya, tugas mulia tanpa tanda jasa nempelin poster harus dikerjakan salah satu sutradara: Tumpal Tampubolon.
Poster film tidak menjelaskan kapan dan di mana film dapat ditonton. Tugas mulia Tumpal bertambah: menulisi poster agar masyarakat Bandung tahu arah.
Blitz PVJ mulai 9 Maret 2011.
Untung desain poster film ini agak sketsa, jadi tulisan Tumpal yang terlalu sarjana matematika jadi terlihat menyatu dengan desain.
Satu per satu poster ditulis dan ditempel. Demi agar filmnya dapat diakses di bioskop.
Sejak Tumpal memutuskan untuk mengambil jalur unpopular (menjadi filmmaker), keluarga Tumpal selalu bertanya di mana mereka bisa lihat karya Tumpal. Berhubung Tumpal CUMA pernah menang kompetisi script Jiffest DUA KALI, belum cukup bagi keluarganya.
Film ya harus bisa ditonton di bioskop.
Selesai!
Sarang-sarang pecinta film se-Bandung raya sudah dibombardir . Sekarang tinggal menanti 9 Maret yang tinggal 2 hari lagi. Akhirnya keluarga Tumpal bisa nonton film Tumpal.
Tumpal menunggu di Bandung saja, gak jadi balik ke Jakarta. Tugas mencari nafkah di Jakarta bisa ditunda dulu, demi premiere.
Sehari menjelang 9 Maret, produser menelepon. Pemutaran ditunda.
Tumpal pulang ke Jakarta.
Jumat, 11 Maret 2011
Emit
“Kalau gue bisa muter waktu, gue gak akan jatuh cinta ama dia,” kata Sunny Soon mengenang cinta ke duanya.
Terdengar seperti dangdut Korea, tapi bagaimana jika diterjemahkan ke dalam sebuah film?
Terlihat seperti film Korea.
Emit, A love story in reverse.
Atau Emit, Time in reverse.
Emit, if only I could turn back time.
Emit, time will emit me.
Apapun tagline, itulah filmnya.
Emit adalah film ke tiga dari seri udang di balik batu. Proyek bikin film seminggu satu dengan agenda-agenda tersembunyi. Para penggemar Sunny Soon akan dapat menikmati wajah imut Cina Coon selama empat menit, diikuti wajah patah hati selama tiga menit.
Saksikan di entahlah terdekat yang mau menayangkan.
Kayanya di www.resignclub.com aja deh. Biar ada isinya. What do you do after resign?
Bikin film-film tak berbayar tapi bermasa depan. Aihhhhhhhh.... ngarep.
If only I could turn back time, there is nothing I would change, Babe.
Terdengar seperti dangdut Korea, tapi bagaimana jika diterjemahkan ke dalam sebuah film?
Terlihat seperti film Korea.
Emit, A love story in reverse.
Atau Emit, Time in reverse.
Emit, if only I could turn back time.
Emit, time will emit me.
Apapun tagline, itulah filmnya.
Emit adalah film ke tiga dari seri udang di balik batu. Proyek bikin film seminggu satu dengan agenda-agenda tersembunyi. Para penggemar Sunny Soon akan dapat menikmati wajah imut Cina Coon selama empat menit, diikuti wajah patah hati selama tiga menit.
Saksikan di entahlah terdekat yang mau menayangkan.
Kayanya di www.resignclub.com aja deh. Biar ada isinya. What do you do after resign?
Bikin film-film tak berbayar tapi bermasa depan. Aihhhhhhhh.... ngarep.
If only I could turn back time, there is nothing I would change, Babe.
A Film About A Film
Scriptwriting process is so damn mind consuming that I write a script about scriptwriting itself. – Charlie Kaufmann.
I love Adaptation. Jadinya gue gak perlu terlalu minder karena my next movie is about moviemaking. Gak perlu merasa gak punya inspirasi sampai gue harus bikin film tentang bikin film.
Moviemaking is like standing naked in front of people anyway. – Michel Gondry
Film is life.
How can you sit down to write when you have not stood up to life? - Henry David Thorreau.
Apakah gue terlalu lama menghabiskan waktu duduk mengetik jadi lupa hidup? Tampaknya gue akan menghabiskan masa muda gue di balik laptop. Making money and masturbating. - Chuck Palahniuk.
A film about a film. It’s a life a bout a life.
Film di dalam film yang paling berhasil yang gue tonton adalah Full Frontal karya Steven Soderbergh. Menarik karena real banget. Berasa everyday life.
Tapi di menit ke 45 gue udah bosen karena real banget. Berasa everyday life.
Movie is my escape from my everyday life. Why would I see something that I can see everyday around me?
Because we go to a movie to see ourselves. - Julianne Moore
The greatest achievement a movie can give is when people can see the character and see themselves.
Tapi kan bosen bikin film yang orang relate melulu. Semua orang bikin film biar orang lain relate. Sekali-sekali bikin yang gak relate. - Edwin
Jadi siapa yang harus gue dengar ?
Hwaaaaa... akibat terlalu banyak membaca, jadi gak pernah menulis.
What do I wanna tell?
Juat a simple story about a daughter and a mother. Anaknya gak pengen jadi kaya emaknya: kawin, ngelupain mimpi, dan live boringly ever after. Maknya menjelang mati pengen liat anaknya kawin, ntar aja baru bikin film, and live happily ever after.
Booo... basi banget. Apa uniknya? Kayanya udah banyak yang kaya gini. Bend it like Beckham? Monsoon Wedding ? Black Swan.
Eh... tapi 3 cerita di atas beda-beda kok. Padahal intinya sama : anak dan ibu.
Kayanya gue masih ada harapan making a different movie out of this.
Be yourself. If it doesn’t make you different, what else would? – Yasmin Ahmad
I love Adaptation. Jadinya gue gak perlu terlalu minder karena my next movie is about moviemaking. Gak perlu merasa gak punya inspirasi sampai gue harus bikin film tentang bikin film.
Moviemaking is like standing naked in front of people anyway. – Michel Gondry
Film is life.
How can you sit down to write when you have not stood up to life? - Henry David Thorreau.
Apakah gue terlalu lama menghabiskan waktu duduk mengetik jadi lupa hidup? Tampaknya gue akan menghabiskan masa muda gue di balik laptop. Making money and masturbating. - Chuck Palahniuk.
A film about a film. It’s a life a bout a life.
Film di dalam film yang paling berhasil yang gue tonton adalah Full Frontal karya Steven Soderbergh. Menarik karena real banget. Berasa everyday life.
Tapi di menit ke 45 gue udah bosen karena real banget. Berasa everyday life.
Movie is my escape from my everyday life. Why would I see something that I can see everyday around me?
Because we go to a movie to see ourselves. - Julianne Moore
The greatest achievement a movie can give is when people can see the character and see themselves.
Tapi kan bosen bikin film yang orang relate melulu. Semua orang bikin film biar orang lain relate. Sekali-sekali bikin yang gak relate. - Edwin
Jadi siapa yang harus gue dengar ?
Hwaaaaa... akibat terlalu banyak membaca, jadi gak pernah menulis.
What do I wanna tell?
Juat a simple story about a daughter and a mother. Anaknya gak pengen jadi kaya emaknya: kawin, ngelupain mimpi, dan live boringly ever after. Maknya menjelang mati pengen liat anaknya kawin, ntar aja baru bikin film, and live happily ever after.
Booo... basi banget. Apa uniknya? Kayanya udah banyak yang kaya gini. Bend it like Beckham? Monsoon Wedding ? Black Swan.
Eh... tapi 3 cerita di atas beda-beda kok. Padahal intinya sama : anak dan ibu.
Kayanya gue masih ada harapan making a different movie out of this.
Be yourself. If it doesn’t make you different, what else would? – Yasmin Ahmad
“Kyu Kyu... Kyu kyu.”
Ini bukan siulan merdu burung perkutut. Gak ada perkutut di mall ini.
Si mbak kasir mengambil kartu kredit gue sambil senyum-senyum melihat mak-mak gondut pura-pura perkutut. Gue merengut menyadari arti siulan sebenarnya.
QQ adalah kode untuk kartu kredit tambahan. Kartu yang biasanya diberikan pada anak pemegang kartu utama karena si anak belum memenuhi syarat-syarat untuk memperoleh katu kredit utama: slip gaji bulanan atau deposito ratusan juta.
Mak Gondut terus berkyu-kyu. Mesin kartu belum juga mencetak transaksi.
Kring kring. Telepon berbunyi.
“Bu Lin, QQ ibu barusan belanja ya?” tanya suara di seberang sana. Dari Bank.
“Oh iya. Ini si QQ lagi ama saya,” jawab Mak Gondut.
Transaction approved.
Yeap. That’s me. The QQ. Wanita tanpa slip gaji dan deposito ratusan juta.
Mungkin ini sebabnya gue gak takut resign. Karena QQ mami selalu menyertai, menghindarkan gue dari ancaman kelaparan.
Tapi itu dulu. Kali ini QQ mami direject.
Insufficient fund.
Ternyata Mak Gondut lagi kekurangan uang.
Dia mau membeli rumah buat kakak gue. Tadinya gak mau yang semahal itu. Tapi begitu dia dengar istri mantan pacar ikut menawar, langsung Mak Gondut beli.
Jadi sekarang Mak Gondut punya rumah, tapi gak punya uang.
QQ pun gak bisa dipake.
Gue mengecek tabungan gue. Deposito terpaksa dicairkan. 10 juta dari tabunganku yang tidak seberapa ini gue setor ke rekening QQ.
QQ kembali bersiul.
Ini pertama kalinya dalam hidup, gue mencairkan deposito. Demi gak kerja setahun ke depan biar Demi Ucok selesai.
Kalau Demi Ucok gagal?
Jangan ah.
Biar suatu hari nanti gantian gue yang siul tiap Mak Gondut mau bayar.
“Kyu Kyu... Kyu kyu.”
Ini bukan siulan merdu burung perkutut. Gak ada perkutut di mall ini.
Si mbak kasir mengambil kartu kredit gue sambil senyum-senyum melihat mak-mak gondut pura-pura perkutut. Gue merengut menyadari arti siulan sebenarnya.
QQ adalah kode untuk kartu kredit tambahan. Kartu yang biasanya diberikan pada anak pemegang kartu utama karena si anak belum memenuhi syarat-syarat untuk memperoleh katu kredit utama: slip gaji bulanan atau deposito ratusan juta.
Mak Gondut terus berkyu-kyu. Mesin kartu belum juga mencetak transaksi.
Kring kring. Telepon berbunyi.
“Bu Lin, QQ ibu barusan belanja ya?” tanya suara di seberang sana. Dari Bank.
“Oh iya. Ini si QQ lagi ama saya,” jawab Mak Gondut.
Transaction approved.
Yeap. That’s me. The QQ. Wanita tanpa slip gaji dan deposito ratusan juta.
Mungkin ini sebabnya gue gak takut resign. Karena QQ mami selalu menyertai, menghindarkan gue dari ancaman kelaparan.
Tapi itu dulu. Kali ini QQ mami direject.
Insufficient fund.
Ternyata Mak Gondut lagi kekurangan uang.
Dia mau membeli rumah buat kakak gue. Tadinya gak mau yang semahal itu. Tapi begitu dia dengar istri mantan pacar ikut menawar, langsung Mak Gondut beli.
Jadi sekarang Mak Gondut punya rumah, tapi gak punya uang.
QQ pun gak bisa dipake.
Gue mengecek tabungan gue. Deposito terpaksa dicairkan. 10 juta dari tabunganku yang tidak seberapa ini gue setor ke rekening QQ.
QQ kembali bersiul.
Ini pertama kalinya dalam hidup, gue mencairkan deposito. Demi gak kerja setahun ke depan biar Demi Ucok selesai.
Kalau Demi Ucok gagal?
Jangan ah.
Biar suatu hari nanti gantian gue yang siul tiap Mak Gondut mau bayar.
“Kyu Kyu... Kyu kyu.”
Kerja Di Indonesia
Kenapa orang pengen masuk ITB?
Karena hanya fresh graduate ITB yang bisa dapat gaji awal 50-100 juta.
Tentunya minyak-minyak dan tambang-tambang itu. Bukan arsitek. Kalau arsitek sih, lo sekolah di mana aja sama aja.
Lulusan arsitek paling dapet SGD 2500 di Singapur, lebih rendah dari lulusan Singapur. Tapi aku dan teman-temanku rela-rela saja. Daripada dirodi di Jakarta, cuma dapet 3 juta. Angkatan di bawah gue, hampir semua begitu lulus langsung ke Singapur.
Inilah sekolah yang konon per anak disubsidi 15 juta per semester oleh negara.
Disubsidi untuk kemudian memperkaya negara lain.
Yang stay , memperkaya diri sendiri.
Yang gak memperkaya diri sendiri, jadi apa?
Gue selalu kagum ketika ada teman yang rela pulang S3 dari negara-negara penjajah untuk kerja di Indonesia.
Kagum bercampur harap-harap cemas, karena negeri ini tidak tahu cara menghargai mereka.
Contohnya seorang teman yang S2 di Amerika. Setelah lulus dan bekerja setahun, dia ditawari kontrak 5 tahun.
Kalau gue yang ditawari kontrak 5 tahun di Amerika, mungkin Mak Gondut udah langsung syukuran potong babi sambil bikin persekutuan doa semoga gue dapet jodoh Batak berwarga negara Amerika. Negara ini gak menghargai suaminya. Anaknya gak usah pulang lagi juga gak papa.
Tapi ayahnya menyuruh dia pulang. Kerja di Indonesia. Simply karena uangnya akan berputar di Indonesia. Walaupun kecil, berguna untuk sekitar.
Dan jangan kerja ama orang. Harus kerja sendiri, walaupun kecil.
Karenanya dia pulang dan membuat sebuah toko buku kecil, tempat gue menonton film-film yang seharusnya disediakan perpustakaan Indonesia.
Gue kagum dan berharap-harap cemas.
Tapi tampaknya dia bahagia-bahagia saja dengan toko buku kecilnya. Pegawainya cuma dua. Apa ini cukup untuk disebut membantu perekonomian lokal?
Setidaknya dia membantu gue. Kalau gak ada toko bukunya, filmmaker bodoh ini gak akan pernah nonton 8 1/2 dan Jacques Tati.
Karenanya siapapun yang berpikir untuk bekerja di Indonesia, I thank you. Your work might mean a lot to the future of some underdeveloped filmmaker.
Oh iya. Dia Cina btw.
Karena hanya fresh graduate ITB yang bisa dapat gaji awal 50-100 juta.
Tentunya minyak-minyak dan tambang-tambang itu. Bukan arsitek. Kalau arsitek sih, lo sekolah di mana aja sama aja.
Lulusan arsitek paling dapet SGD 2500 di Singapur, lebih rendah dari lulusan Singapur. Tapi aku dan teman-temanku rela-rela saja. Daripada dirodi di Jakarta, cuma dapet 3 juta. Angkatan di bawah gue, hampir semua begitu lulus langsung ke Singapur.
Inilah sekolah yang konon per anak disubsidi 15 juta per semester oleh negara.
Disubsidi untuk kemudian memperkaya negara lain.
Yang stay , memperkaya diri sendiri.
Yang gak memperkaya diri sendiri, jadi apa?
Gue selalu kagum ketika ada teman yang rela pulang S3 dari negara-negara penjajah untuk kerja di Indonesia.
Kagum bercampur harap-harap cemas, karena negeri ini tidak tahu cara menghargai mereka.
Contohnya seorang teman yang S2 di Amerika. Setelah lulus dan bekerja setahun, dia ditawari kontrak 5 tahun.
Kalau gue yang ditawari kontrak 5 tahun di Amerika, mungkin Mak Gondut udah langsung syukuran potong babi sambil bikin persekutuan doa semoga gue dapet jodoh Batak berwarga negara Amerika. Negara ini gak menghargai suaminya. Anaknya gak usah pulang lagi juga gak papa.
Tapi ayahnya menyuruh dia pulang. Kerja di Indonesia. Simply karena uangnya akan berputar di Indonesia. Walaupun kecil, berguna untuk sekitar.
Dan jangan kerja ama orang. Harus kerja sendiri, walaupun kecil.
Karenanya dia pulang dan membuat sebuah toko buku kecil, tempat gue menonton film-film yang seharusnya disediakan perpustakaan Indonesia.
Gue kagum dan berharap-harap cemas.
Tapi tampaknya dia bahagia-bahagia saja dengan toko buku kecilnya. Pegawainya cuma dua. Apa ini cukup untuk disebut membantu perekonomian lokal?
Setidaknya dia membantu gue. Kalau gak ada toko bukunya, filmmaker bodoh ini gak akan pernah nonton 8 1/2 dan Jacques Tati.
Karenanya siapapun yang berpikir untuk bekerja di Indonesia, I thank you. Your work might mean a lot to the future of some underdeveloped filmmaker.
Oh iya. Dia Cina btw.
No Lie. No Defense.
“My policy is: no lie, no defense.”
He is an alien. He is a legal alien. He is an Englishman in New York.
I love his character. Queer, English, and living in the closest thing to heaven on earth: New York.
“Why do you think you are qualified to be a resident?” tanya mas-mas IRS.
“I believe I can fill in a unique function that no others can do simply just being me. On that basis, I think I am qualified.”
No one else can be him.
He is an alien. He is a legal alien. He is an Englishman in New York.
Selesai film, gue menulis NO LIE NO DEFENSE besar-besar di layar iMac gue dan berharap bisa hidup tanpa dusta dan defense for the rest of my hopefully lovely life.
It was two days ago. Two hardest days of my life.
Berapa berat lo?
88.
Easy. No use of lie anyway. Anyone can tell there is no way I am 70.
Berapa gaji lo?
146 ribu per sks. Walaupun gue bilang ke Lucky 200, biar dia mau ngajar juga.
That was tougher. Moga-moga lucky gak baca ini sebelum dia tanda tangan kontrak.
Lo pernah ML?
That was easy, but embarasssing. But I can still get away with ‘punya prinsip’ instead of gak laku-laku.
Hey ! That was defense!!!
Ok! Ok! It’s not that I don’t have the chance. But not with those I really want.
Puas lo?
Are you gay?
I would love to be one. But no one wants me. (At least not the one I want.)
That was tough, huh?
It’s a post Ellen era. I get to advertise myself.
Lo suka laskar Pelangi?
Damn. Ini baru susah. Sesama pencari nafkah di bidang seni sebaiknya gak saling menjelekkan. It would not be right for me to say bad things about it. I think we were supposed to help each other.
But I don’t think Riri Riza need my help. So...
No. Filmnya aja gue males nonton, apalagi bayar 200 ribu for the play.
But I love the book.
And Lea Simanjuntak.
Not because she is Simanjuntak. Not because of her voice (which I think sound better live).
But because of her neck. She can make a great cast for my version of Laskar ‘Pelangi’.
Would you be interested in her?
No.
Bukan karena doi cewe. Bukan karena dia dah mau kawin. Tapi karena dia Simanjuntak.
Haram booo. Bisa dihukum adat.
What is the biggest achievement in your life?
Love, babe. Love.
Hahaha.
I know love is not a victory march, but I think I don’t mind parading you around the city. Holding your hand and telling them you were mine. Or I’m yours. Either way.
‘You’? You mean ‘her’?
Shut up.
Do you think you are a good teacher?
Managing a class is worse than managing a production. But the steady income was nice. And I get to learn After Effect.
Tapi kayanya gue gak akan jadi guru yang baik sampai gue bikin film ke dua dulu. So I am pushing hard on this second one.
Do you think you can make a good film?
I don’t know how to make a good film. An honest one is good enough for me.
I don’t think you are that talented.
Finally we have something in common=D
I think I have some talent, but not that wow. Good thing we don’t need talent to do a movie.
What do we need then?
Love.
No Lie?
No defense =D
He is an alien. He is a legal alien. He is an Englishman in New York.
I love his character. Queer, English, and living in the closest thing to heaven on earth: New York.
“Why do you think you are qualified to be a resident?” tanya mas-mas IRS.
“I believe I can fill in a unique function that no others can do simply just being me. On that basis, I think I am qualified.”
No one else can be him.
He is an alien. He is a legal alien. He is an Englishman in New York.
Selesai film, gue menulis NO LIE NO DEFENSE besar-besar di layar iMac gue dan berharap bisa hidup tanpa dusta dan defense for the rest of my hopefully lovely life.
It was two days ago. Two hardest days of my life.
Berapa berat lo?
88.
Easy. No use of lie anyway. Anyone can tell there is no way I am 70.
Berapa gaji lo?
146 ribu per sks. Walaupun gue bilang ke Lucky 200, biar dia mau ngajar juga.
That was tougher. Moga-moga lucky gak baca ini sebelum dia tanda tangan kontrak.
Lo pernah ML?
That was easy, but embarasssing. But I can still get away with ‘punya prinsip’ instead of gak laku-laku.
Hey ! That was defense!!!
Ok! Ok! It’s not that I don’t have the chance. But not with those I really want.
Puas lo?
Are you gay?
I would love to be one. But no one wants me. (At least not the one I want.)
That was tough, huh?
It’s a post Ellen era. I get to advertise myself.
Lo suka laskar Pelangi?
Damn. Ini baru susah. Sesama pencari nafkah di bidang seni sebaiknya gak saling menjelekkan. It would not be right for me to say bad things about it. I think we were supposed to help each other.
But I don’t think Riri Riza need my help. So...
No. Filmnya aja gue males nonton, apalagi bayar 200 ribu for the play.
But I love the book.
And Lea Simanjuntak.
Not because she is Simanjuntak. Not because of her voice (which I think sound better live).
But because of her neck. She can make a great cast for my version of Laskar ‘Pelangi’.
Would you be interested in her?
No.
Bukan karena doi cewe. Bukan karena dia dah mau kawin. Tapi karena dia Simanjuntak.
Haram booo. Bisa dihukum adat.
What is the biggest achievement in your life?
Love, babe. Love.
Hahaha.
I know love is not a victory march, but I think I don’t mind parading you around the city. Holding your hand and telling them you were mine. Or I’m yours. Either way.
‘You’? You mean ‘her’?
Shut up.
Do you think you are a good teacher?
Managing a class is worse than managing a production. But the steady income was nice. And I get to learn After Effect.
Tapi kayanya gue gak akan jadi guru yang baik sampai gue bikin film ke dua dulu. So I am pushing hard on this second one.
Do you think you can make a good film?
I don’t know how to make a good film. An honest one is good enough for me.
I don’t think you are that talented.
Finally we have something in common=D
I think I have some talent, but not that wow. Good thing we don’t need talent to do a movie.
What do we need then?
Love.
No Lie?
No defense =D
Fear
Gue gak takut ketinggian. Gue gak takut laba-laba. Gue gak takut ngomong depan umum. Gue gak takut gagal. Gue gak takut mati.
Kadang-kadang.
What is my 5 greatest fear?
Mungkin pertanyaannya harus dirubah. What is my 5 greatest love?
Love is the highest form of fear. By understanding what you love the most, you will know what you fear most.
In a not chronological order, what do I love most?
Myself
It’s a love and hate relationship, actually.
I love myself when I’m surprised by the great things I thought I would never do. Misalnya: resign, ngasih tips lebih ke bibik, ga peduli duit, dll.
But I still know my darkest side. And it’s not a side I am proud of. Misalnya: gampang takut, suka spotlight, ngomong ga mikir, ga suka liat orang senang, dan hal-hal memalukan lain yang harus gue waspadai muncul di pojok-pojok hati dan siap menguasai jalan pikiran dan tindakan.
But still, I love myself.
So if I love myself that much, what am I afraid of?
That I love myself too much.
Damn.
My parent.
Walaupun norak, I think they did the best job they knew how to do.
Walaupun waktu di Batam ketika mereka berantem, satu ke Deden, satu ke Chica. Gak ada
yang millih ngadu ke gue. Aku ini anak siapa?
But I’m fine. Maybe I will love them less kalau mereka ngadu ke gue. I just can’t stand people bitching about my parent, even when they are my other parent.
So what am I afraid of?
Gue takut kalau mereka mati, mereka belum gue bahagiain. Belum liat gue kawin. Belum liat anak gue.
Kawin and punya anak? That’s so not my goal right now.
Gue pengennya bikin film.
Makanya gue bikin film tentang emak gue aja deh. Kayanya dia bakal seneng. Secara doi banci spotlight. Pilihan lainnya ya nyetirin doi ke sana sini.
Kayanya lebih gampang dibikinin film.
Papi apa ya? Dibikinin film gak ngaruh. Nonton 1 menit udah ketiduran. Kayanya dia bahagia kalau bisa bahagiaan gue. So I have to try to be happy then.
Damn. That’s tough.
My friends.
Sahabat datang dan pergi. Yang mengkhianati, so far belum ada. Seringnya gue yang menyakiti.
So if I love my friends that much, what am I afraid of?
Takut mereka berubah?
Everybody changes. Yang once upon a time in school gue sangka akan terus bersahabat pun berubah. But I still love my firends.
At least the memory of them.
Takut mereka tersinggung?
Maybe. I have a talent for hurting people feelings.
Takut lo disakiti?
Mmm... no comment. Atau iya ya? Makanya gue cenderung pergi dan niggalin orang sebelum anything bad happens. Or sebelum nothing happens.
That's it. Takut boring.
I just can’t stand the comfortable silence that true friends supposed to have.
My Work
Lo boleh nyela dan nyampahin karya gue, tapi kalau coba ngerubah... I think I can become very defensive and pigheaded.
Nguik nguik...
And I am wondering why I have no producers? Hahaha.
My Space
Gue gak bisa tingal sekamar ama orang. Kalaupun ntar nikah, kayanya gue bakalan kaya Tim Burton dan Helena Bonham Carter.
If I love my space that much, why do I have facebook?
Krik krik krik...
What am I afraid of?
Gue takut end up sendirian.
Should I take anyone available?
Don’t. It’s your fear dictating your judgement.
There are only 2 reasons in life. Either you are chasing something or you are running away from something.
Ga perlu bingung. It's so simple. Fear or Love.
Gak ada alasan lain.
If you do it because of love, that’s the right way. If you do it because of fear, that’s the wrong way.
So let's go there where your love take you.
But isn't fear another form of love?
Damn. Siapa tadi yang bilang it's so simple?
Kadang-kadang.
What is my 5 greatest fear?
Mungkin pertanyaannya harus dirubah. What is my 5 greatest love?
Love is the highest form of fear. By understanding what you love the most, you will know what you fear most.
In a not chronological order, what do I love most?
Myself
It’s a love and hate relationship, actually.
I love myself when I’m surprised by the great things I thought I would never do. Misalnya: resign, ngasih tips lebih ke bibik, ga peduli duit, dll.
But I still know my darkest side. And it’s not a side I am proud of. Misalnya: gampang takut, suka spotlight, ngomong ga mikir, ga suka liat orang senang, dan hal-hal memalukan lain yang harus gue waspadai muncul di pojok-pojok hati dan siap menguasai jalan pikiran dan tindakan.
But still, I love myself.
So if I love myself that much, what am I afraid of?
That I love myself too much.
Damn.
My parent.
Walaupun norak, I think they did the best job they knew how to do.
Walaupun waktu di Batam ketika mereka berantem, satu ke Deden, satu ke Chica. Gak ada
yang millih ngadu ke gue. Aku ini anak siapa?
But I’m fine. Maybe I will love them less kalau mereka ngadu ke gue. I just can’t stand people bitching about my parent, even when they are my other parent.
So what am I afraid of?
Gue takut kalau mereka mati, mereka belum gue bahagiain. Belum liat gue kawin. Belum liat anak gue.
Kawin and punya anak? That’s so not my goal right now.
Gue pengennya bikin film.
Makanya gue bikin film tentang emak gue aja deh. Kayanya dia bakal seneng. Secara doi banci spotlight. Pilihan lainnya ya nyetirin doi ke sana sini.
Kayanya lebih gampang dibikinin film.
Papi apa ya? Dibikinin film gak ngaruh. Nonton 1 menit udah ketiduran. Kayanya dia bahagia kalau bisa bahagiaan gue. So I have to try to be happy then.
Damn. That’s tough.
My friends.
Sahabat datang dan pergi. Yang mengkhianati, so far belum ada. Seringnya gue yang menyakiti.
So if I love my friends that much, what am I afraid of?
Takut mereka berubah?
Everybody changes. Yang once upon a time in school gue sangka akan terus bersahabat pun berubah. But I still love my firends.
At least the memory of them.
Takut mereka tersinggung?
Maybe. I have a talent for hurting people feelings.
Takut lo disakiti?
Mmm... no comment. Atau iya ya? Makanya gue cenderung pergi dan niggalin orang sebelum anything bad happens. Or sebelum nothing happens.
That's it. Takut boring.
I just can’t stand the comfortable silence that true friends supposed to have.
My Work
Lo boleh nyela dan nyampahin karya gue, tapi kalau coba ngerubah... I think I can become very defensive and pigheaded.
Nguik nguik...
And I am wondering why I have no producers? Hahaha.
My Space
Gue gak bisa tingal sekamar ama orang. Kalaupun ntar nikah, kayanya gue bakalan kaya Tim Burton dan Helena Bonham Carter.
If I love my space that much, why do I have facebook?
Krik krik krik...
What am I afraid of?
Gue takut end up sendirian.
Should I take anyone available?
Don’t. It’s your fear dictating your judgement.
There are only 2 reasons in life. Either you are chasing something or you are running away from something.
Ga perlu bingung. It's so simple. Fear or Love.
Gak ada alasan lain.
If you do it because of love, that’s the right way. If you do it because of fear, that’s the wrong way.
So let's go there where your love take you.
But isn't fear another form of love?
Damn. Siapa tadi yang bilang it's so simple?
Kamis, 10 Maret 2011
100 First Thoughts
Berhubung gue gak nulis 100 hari, I decided to get disciplined. I need to write 100 writings on anything before I can move on with my life.
Baru 10 tulisan udah kaputt. 10 tulisan per hari sepertinya cukup biar gue disiplin dan kulit tetap bersinar.
These are the next 90 writings I hope to write the next 9 days.
1. Too Cool For High School
2. Wayang Golek Bahasa Batak
3. Patah Gigi
4. Masuk TV
5. Kapan Gue Mati?
6. Bikin Film di Negara tanpa Industri Film
7. Cook A Film, who cares?
8. Banci Ngomongin Banci
9. Ignorant Generation
10. Hiu Gak Makan Ikan
11. Black Swan
12. Babi Kecil Dalam Comberan di Tahun Kelinci
13. Salah Lahir
14. HAARP
15. Best Childhood Memories
16. Mari bermain. What is your 5 greatet fear?
17. Emit
18. Kamu, 20 tahun lagi
19. A Movie about a movie
20. Kulit Putih
21. QQ
22. Muka Tua
23. Songs I wish I had written
24. Piracy
25. Insomnia
26. 50 things I wanna do with you
27. Arwah Goyang Jupe Depe, Best Indonesian Movie 2011
28. Sepatu Underground Laba-laba
29. Tiga Mati, Allah Akbar, and Feeling Nothing
30. Nabrak Kucing
31. Art School Confidential
32. Masang Poster
33. Reuni dan Jerawat
34. Kenapa kamar gue gak Pernah berubah
35. Kerja di Indonesia
36. Lucky Kuswandi on Marketing
37. Ucu Agustin on Unfriending
38. Veronica Kusuma on Antropologi
39. Ariani Darmawan on Kabut-kabut di atas sana
40. Mami Papi ke Tokyo, ninggalin Tiga Hachiko
41. Arus Balik
42. Asuransi
43. Jalur Biru
44. Ahmadiyah Dilarang
45. Twitter dan Follower
46. Facebook
47. And the winner is The King’s Speech
48. IVF
49. Mak Comblang
50. Kabel-kabel
51. Seminggu Satu
52. Where is Lima Menit Lagi?
53. cin(T)a in singapore
54. why i shoud think before i speak
55. my life without god
56. why me? Why not me?
57. Sali aja kawin
58. Who is dian sastro?
59. Bensin naik
60. Crocs palsu
61. Ewi-ewi persahabatan
62. Bibik
63. Sam Marie
64. Kenapa langit biru
65. Almost 28
66. Tiga Keliling
67. Ain Bosan
68. Hairdryer, catokan, dan epilator
69. Sembunyikan foto ungu
70. BB yang semakin bodoh
71. My life wiyhout deodorant
72. Oh no, it’s march!
73. Mari Ingin Kawin
74. Dangdut, Wanita, dan Kemiskinan
75. Cicak-cicak Biru
76. Berburu Produser
77. Crop Circle
78. Bitter Sisters
79. Rich Indonesian
80. Sehari Sebelum ML
81. Macet Lagi, Macet Lagi, Gara-gara SBY Lewat
82. Money
83. Death
84. Dream
85. Mother vs Daughter
86. Marriage
87. Moviemaking
88. Multilevel Marketing
89. Asuransi
90. ?
Baru 10 tulisan udah kaputt. 10 tulisan per hari sepertinya cukup biar gue disiplin dan kulit tetap bersinar.
These are the next 90 writings I hope to write the next 9 days.
1. Too Cool For High School
2. Wayang Golek Bahasa Batak
3. Patah Gigi
4. Masuk TV
5. Kapan Gue Mati?
6. Bikin Film di Negara tanpa Industri Film
7. Cook A Film, who cares?
8. Banci Ngomongin Banci
9. Ignorant Generation
10. Hiu Gak Makan Ikan
11. Black Swan
12. Babi Kecil Dalam Comberan di Tahun Kelinci
13. Salah Lahir
14. HAARP
15. Best Childhood Memories
16. Mari bermain. What is your 5 greatet fear?
17. Emit
18. Kamu, 20 tahun lagi
19. A Movie about a movie
20. Kulit Putih
21. QQ
22. Muka Tua
23. Songs I wish I had written
24. Piracy
25. Insomnia
26. 50 things I wanna do with you
27. Arwah Goyang Jupe Depe, Best Indonesian Movie 2011
28. Sepatu Underground Laba-laba
29. Tiga Mati, Allah Akbar, and Feeling Nothing
30. Nabrak Kucing
31. Art School Confidential
32. Masang Poster
33. Reuni dan Jerawat
34. Kenapa kamar gue gak Pernah berubah
35. Kerja di Indonesia
36. Lucky Kuswandi on Marketing
37. Ucu Agustin on Unfriending
38. Veronica Kusuma on Antropologi
39. Ariani Darmawan on Kabut-kabut di atas sana
40. Mami Papi ke Tokyo, ninggalin Tiga Hachiko
41. Arus Balik
42. Asuransi
43. Jalur Biru
44. Ahmadiyah Dilarang
45. Twitter dan Follower
46. Facebook
47. And the winner is The King’s Speech
48. IVF
49. Mak Comblang
50. Kabel-kabel
51. Seminggu Satu
52. Where is Lima Menit Lagi?
53. cin(T)a in singapore
54. why i shoud think before i speak
55. my life without god
56. why me? Why not me?
57. Sali aja kawin
58. Who is dian sastro?
59. Bensin naik
60. Crocs palsu
61. Ewi-ewi persahabatan
62. Bibik
63. Sam Marie
64. Kenapa langit biru
65. Almost 28
66. Tiga Keliling
67. Ain Bosan
68. Hairdryer, catokan, dan epilator
69. Sembunyikan foto ungu
70. BB yang semakin bodoh
71. My life wiyhout deodorant
72. Oh no, it’s march!
73. Mari Ingin Kawin
74. Dangdut, Wanita, dan Kemiskinan
75. Cicak-cicak Biru
76. Berburu Produser
77. Crop Circle
78. Bitter Sisters
79. Rich Indonesian
80. Sehari Sebelum ML
81. Macet Lagi, Macet Lagi, Gara-gara SBY Lewat
82. Money
83. Death
84. Dream
85. Mother vs Daughter
86. Marriage
87. Moviemaking
88. Multilevel Marketing
89. Asuransi
90. ?
100 Hari Tanpa Nulis
I tried tai chi. Tarik napas. Buang napas. Tarik energi positif. Buang energi negatif. Life is all about nafas, you know? Ketika lo sadar lo bernafas, lo akan melewati hidup tanpa menjadi mayat hidup.
Masih bersampah. Masih resah.
Gue coba yoga. Lipat kaki. Tarik nafas. Renggangkan kaki. Tarik ke belakang. Pelan-pelan. Rasakan seluruh otot di badanmu, even the little one you didn’t even know exist. Be aware that they are there.
Masih bersampah. Masih resah.
Gue coba baca alkitab. Cungkil matamu kalau berdosa. Patahkan kakimu kalau berdosa. Lebih baik kehilangan bagian tubuhmu daripada berdosa.
I wanna keep my eyes, thank you.
Masih resah. Masih bersampah.
100 hari tanpa menulis. 100 hari menumpuk sampah. Bayangkan 100 hari tanpa boker. Bayangkan 100 hari tanpa truk kuning mengosongkan bak bau depan rumah.
Bau. Jijik. Wuekk. BIkin pengen jauh-jauh.
So, is that all your writing about? Nyampah?
Buat apa nulis kalau hanya membuat sampah? Membuat orang lain semakin resah? Biar orang ikut merasakan sampah yang mengotori hati lo? Hati lo yang gak pernah puas. Hati lo yang selalu mencari. No peace of mind.
Siapa kamu berbagi sampah? Mereka gak butuh sampahmu. They have enough the Dedis and the Nurdins and the Bachsim Bachdim Bah Bah Hasyim nyampah nyampah and nyampah.
Dedi Gumilar? He looks a lot like Miing. Wasn’t he a comedian? Why he looks so serious?
Oh wait. He still is a comedian, even his title says DPR. Even funnier now with the serious look on his face.
Hahahahhhahahhahaha we pay 30 million for 500 something comedians. How much do we pay our teachers?
Sebuah bintang pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa. Priceless.
So why should I write when we have enough junk around again?
Too many words.
We need more action.
Do we?
Or what we really need is silence, listening for a while, listening to what You want.
Cungkil matamu kalau berdosa. Patahkan kakimu kalau berdosa. Lebih baik kehilangan bagian tubuhmu daripada berdosa.
Shut up!
You shut up.
Silence is the key.
All this Dedis and the Nurdins and theHalids and the misused Allah Akbar will pass away, eventually. But who will be with you till the earth stood still?
Till the earth stood till? What does that even mean? Isn’t it a title of a movie?
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still...
But...
Be still.
Ok.
Be still.
Ok. Ok. Geez, you’re so srious.
You’re not listening to me.
Ok. I’ll shut up.
Good. Silence is the key.
Silence is the key.
Be still and know that I am God.
Masih bersampah. Masih resah.
Gue coba yoga. Lipat kaki. Tarik nafas. Renggangkan kaki. Tarik ke belakang. Pelan-pelan. Rasakan seluruh otot di badanmu, even the little one you didn’t even know exist. Be aware that they are there.
Masih bersampah. Masih resah.
Gue coba baca alkitab. Cungkil matamu kalau berdosa. Patahkan kakimu kalau berdosa. Lebih baik kehilangan bagian tubuhmu daripada berdosa.
I wanna keep my eyes, thank you.
Masih resah. Masih bersampah.
100 hari tanpa menulis. 100 hari menumpuk sampah. Bayangkan 100 hari tanpa boker. Bayangkan 100 hari tanpa truk kuning mengosongkan bak bau depan rumah.
Bau. Jijik. Wuekk. BIkin pengen jauh-jauh.
So, is that all your writing about? Nyampah?
Buat apa nulis kalau hanya membuat sampah? Membuat orang lain semakin resah? Biar orang ikut merasakan sampah yang mengotori hati lo? Hati lo yang gak pernah puas. Hati lo yang selalu mencari. No peace of mind.
Siapa kamu berbagi sampah? Mereka gak butuh sampahmu. They have enough the Dedis and the Nurdins and the Bachsim Bachdim Bah Bah Hasyim nyampah nyampah and nyampah.
Dedi Gumilar? He looks a lot like Miing. Wasn’t he a comedian? Why he looks so serious?
Oh wait. He still is a comedian, even his title says DPR. Even funnier now with the serious look on his face.
Hahahahhhahahhahaha we pay 30 million for 500 something comedians. How much do we pay our teachers?
Sebuah bintang pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa. Priceless.
So why should I write when we have enough junk around again?
Too many words.
We need more action.
Do we?
Or what we really need is silence, listening for a while, listening to what You want.
Cungkil matamu kalau berdosa. Patahkan kakimu kalau berdosa. Lebih baik kehilangan bagian tubuhmu daripada berdosa.
Shut up!
You shut up.
Silence is the key.
All this Dedis and the Nurdins and theHalids and the misused Allah Akbar will pass away, eventually. But who will be with you till the earth stood still?
Till the earth stood till? What does that even mean? Isn’t it a title of a movie?
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still...
But...
Be still.
Ok.
Be still.
Ok. Ok. Geez, you’re so srious.
You’re not listening to me.
Ok. I’ll shut up.
Good. Silence is the key.
Silence is the key.
Be still and know that I am God.
Apalah Artinya Sebuah Nama
“I tried to look at the terrible things of my life and make them funny. So it became a comedy that no one else would be able to tell, “ kata The King Of Comedy versi Scorcese.
I tried it too. Tell the terrible things in my life and make them funny. But I wasn’t funny enough.
Maybe I wasn’t honest enough.
Maybe I have no terrible things happened to me before.
Hahaha. That’s funny.
No terrible things happened to you before? That’s the funniest thing you said so far.
Let’s start with your name. I guess if you are being honest we will have plenty to laugh about.
Halo. Gue Sammaria. Yes, like the city. Like the capital of the ten tribes. Like those that the Yehuda hates, but Jesus love dearly.
Whatever. I said if you are being HONEST we will have plenty to laugh about.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Ok. Gue SAM Maria. Sari Astrid Mananda Maria.
Hahaha. Then how come you became Sammaria?
S A M Maria. Isn’t it obvious?
Iya. Tapi kenapa gak.... Sari A M ? Sari AMMaria?
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Sariam sounds too pembantu. Dan Sari Ammaria sounds too pemeran pembantu.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Gara-gara para opung gue ngasih nama seenaknya tanpa konsolidasi setelah kelebihan cucu. Sodara emak gue 11. Bokap 9. Cucunya berapa? Too many. Bersyukurlah kau gak dinamai Ari Wibowo.
Untung gue kreatif, jadinya nama gue eksotis.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Penting buat gue, sebagaimana mahkluk koleris lainnya. I think they would like me more if I know their names.
They did. It works to get me friends during the West Coast summer tour 2001. I suddenly became popular. I don’t need to be tall or beautiful. I only need to get to know their names first.
Tapi sekarang mereka tinggal menjadi daftar nama-nama. No personal connection. Mereka menjadi mahkluk-mahkluk indah yang menghiasi albumku di Amerika. Nothing more.
What are the names that will stick with me to the end?
Not your name. I don’t like your name. But I do like you, babe. I’ll keep ‘babe’ as long as I could.
So, babe... will you keep my name till the end?
Of course not. You have other name already written in your heart. May not be in your heart, but certainly in your marriage cerificate.
Tak guna meratapi cinta. Lebih baik make a name for myself so I could have some good fuck.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Tentunya berarti ketika lo berkesempatan menghabiskan malam indah bersama lelaki berdada bidang hasil jeratan QnA ... dan lo malah salah nyebut.
Apalah bedanya Brendan ama Brandon.
Goodbye, Sammara!
I tried it too. Tell the terrible things in my life and make them funny. But I wasn’t funny enough.
Maybe I wasn’t honest enough.
Maybe I have no terrible things happened to me before.
Hahaha. That’s funny.
No terrible things happened to you before? That’s the funniest thing you said so far.
Let’s start with your name. I guess if you are being honest we will have plenty to laugh about.
Halo. Gue Sammaria. Yes, like the city. Like the capital of the ten tribes. Like those that the Yehuda hates, but Jesus love dearly.
Whatever. I said if you are being HONEST we will have plenty to laugh about.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Ok. Gue SAM Maria. Sari Astrid Mananda Maria.
Hahaha. Then how come you became Sammaria?
S A M Maria. Isn’t it obvious?
Iya. Tapi kenapa gak.... Sari A M ? Sari AMMaria?
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Sariam sounds too pembantu. Dan Sari Ammaria sounds too pemeran pembantu.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Gara-gara para opung gue ngasih nama seenaknya tanpa konsolidasi setelah kelebihan cucu. Sodara emak gue 11. Bokap 9. Cucunya berapa? Too many. Bersyukurlah kau gak dinamai Ari Wibowo.
Untung gue kreatif, jadinya nama gue eksotis.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Penting buat gue, sebagaimana mahkluk koleris lainnya. I think they would like me more if I know their names.
They did. It works to get me friends during the West Coast summer tour 2001. I suddenly became popular. I don’t need to be tall or beautiful. I only need to get to know their names first.
Tapi sekarang mereka tinggal menjadi daftar nama-nama. No personal connection. Mereka menjadi mahkluk-mahkluk indah yang menghiasi albumku di Amerika. Nothing more.
What are the names that will stick with me to the end?
Not your name. I don’t like your name. But I do like you, babe. I’ll keep ‘babe’ as long as I could.
So, babe... will you keep my name till the end?
Of course not. You have other name already written in your heart. May not be in your heart, but certainly in your marriage cerificate.
Tak guna meratapi cinta. Lebih baik make a name for myself so I could have some good fuck.
Apalah artinya sebuah nama.
Tentunya berarti ketika lo berkesempatan menghabiskan malam indah bersama lelaki berdada bidang hasil jeratan QnA ... dan lo malah salah nyebut.
Apalah bedanya Brendan ama Brandon.
Goodbye, Sammara!
Langganan:
Postingan (Atom)